“Remember your Goddess roots. You wanted to conquer the world, to do, be and have so much. You’re so much more than a mom!”
And the “Fried Mom Award” goes to…
If you’ve ever stayed home with the kids for a bit, you know exactly how it goes: you begin reading as much as you can to become the best mother, then, you start volunteering, leading, organizing and other “awesome mom” shoulds while ignoring the inner call for self expression, grown ass fun and meaning.
My second daughter was a bonafide DIVA …
… straight out of the womb! Mission Control, we have a PROBLEM! I didn’t miss a beat, I just kept on burning the candle at both ends. Adding Troop Leader to the mix and road trips with less and less sleep or time to breathe. Do you smell smoke? I was FRIED! I was consumed with making everyone else a priority except me.
Can you relate?
Are you a mommy martyr?
As a coach, I look back and see the battle to prove my worth and be that “great mom.” It happens especially after you’ve been in the working world with real power and authority. You just need to have something to show that you didn’t just watch tv all day!
But motherhood wasn’t filling my cup anymore and with the volatile teen hormones, there wasn’t much glory in this job of being a #MommyMartyr. I quickly realized that if I didn’t learn how to move past the guilt of wanting more for my life, I might actually lose my mind!
In hindsight, my second daughter was the best thing that could have happened to me. She was the wake up call that pushed me to realize that I had lost my identity and needed to reclaim my life or be damned to #MommyMartyr doom!
How about you? Do you feel like a #MommyMartyr feeling like there’s no hope for you to have some spice in your life beyond the kids?
12 Years …
I was competing to be “the best damn mother EVER and made sure my kids had that winning edge even though I didn’t have a clue what I was doing most of the time. My life was a roller coaster and I felt so alone while my husband seemed to have more work more than ever! How lucky he was!
Fast forward, I was barely surviving with our two girls – I secretly called them Miss Nice & Miss Nasty. I was like a single mom getting who got a paycheck.
At my heaviest weight over 200 lbs. But “good job” mom earning Volunteer of Excellence Award!
& 70 lbs Later
My husband and I became two ships passing in the night as he began to travel more. I stuffed my feelings of resentment and powerlessness with food and ate my way to over 200 pounds!
I was a bored, codependent and an overweight, unfulfilled stay at home mom with untapped talent and dreams. This was not the vision I had when I left the music biz.
What happened to me?
“…a woman can mistake her purpose and believe that her function is to enslave herself to her job, or live only to serve her husband, her kids, her family. This misapprehension can turn into a life where she is utterly starved for pleasure.”
Regena Thomashauer a.k.a. Mama Gena
This life you’re living now is not the vision you had in your 20’s. This is certainly not the dream!
And you’re not alone. There’s a tribe of women, just like you, who are reclaiming their dreams and identity and you can too!
If you’re ready, I’m here to support your decision as a #NoMoreMommyMartyr. Visit my Work With Me page to learn more.