I’ve been reading so many posts and articles which caution against setting resolutions for the new year because they just don’t stick.
“Atomic Habits” author, James Clear, says that you are more likely to resort to your old habits 8 out of 10 times more than sticking to your newly declared habit.
I admit that I’ve done resolutions most of my life. I make the resolution and use all my will power to uphold it until I can’t, and then for the rest of the year, if I can, I shrink the goal into small, more manageable practices.
Most times, I do make progress and wonder why I bite off so much in the first place.
On the other hand, if I have a deadline that I pushed back too many times, I often find myself grinding it out until it’s done. I used to love my ability to do that.
As I approach my mid-fifties, it’s actually not as easy to pull off my grind out sessions without taking a toll. With all the stressors of family, changes with my body and other responsibilities on my shoulders. Oh, and let’s not forget about the prevailing stress of staying safe from Covid too!
I often judge myself harshly for getting myself into a last minute predicament at this stage of my career – even when it’s due to circumstances beyond my control.
How do you grind?
Does the phrase “grind” sound familiar? Perhaps you call the act of forcing yourself to get the job done no matter what by another name. Whatever you call it, does it describe your work style at times?
I sure hope it’s not in any of your goals for the future.
Of course, no one wants to grind out anything; yet, we hear that term used often.
“I’ve got to get back to the grind”
“I’m going to buckle down and grind it out”
“I’m going to take a nap and then grind through to the end”
Sounds enticing right? Not really but we do it.
So, how do we get the grind out and bring more of the joy back into our lives for 2022?
No, this isn’t a blog on goal setting. It’s an opportunity to interrupt the way things usually go for you while you think about what you want for 2022 and beyond. An opportunity to choose something different.
If grinding isn’t your choice, yet you seem to find yourself stuck in a grinding out situation, here’s some tips to start loosening the grips of the grinder you may find yourself in.
Millennials don’t grind like Boomers and Gen Xers
Although, I work for myself from home, I often hear my peers and clients marvel at how their younger coworkers make time for travel, fun and most importantly, they’re not afraid to call it quits for the night.
The first step is awareness. Realize that your mindset about grinding need revamping.
It’s imperative to disrupt the depleting mindset of “grinding through to the end” so that you can tend to your health: mind, body and spirit. In a study in Europe, employees who worked more hours were reported to have less job satisfaction and inferior career outcomes!
A recent Gartner Research study, posted in Smarp, showed that Millennials said they would spend less time in the office compared with Gen Xers and Baby Boomers. They also want to be a part of a team. No solo grinding out parties.
Additionally, companies are coming up with creative ways to entice millennials to join their team by providing company cards and after work connection dinners to encourage connections. They recognize the value of enrolling them into the company culture and are sparing no expense.
What does this have to do with your plans for 2022?
Stop grinding and holding your breath!
You’ve been around the block sis’. Isn’t it time to enjoy the ride instead of holding your breath another year until you get it all done for everyone else? Sometimes the grinding mindset has us put our dreams on hold indefinitely. Am I right?
I’m here to remind you that you get to go too woman!
I’m all about win-wins for me and my clients. That means no more victim mindset.
I’m declaring 2022 to be about saying “YES!” to our humanness and creating boundaries at work and adding more play, laughter and silliness! Oh, yes, dancing and singing too!
What do you say for 2022?
Remember, poor sleep affects mindset and our possibility meter. If you notice you’re doubting yourself more or starting to worry more, check in with yourself.
Take the mind-body-spirit selfcare review
What’s your rating on the mind-body-spirit selfcare meter below? On a scale from 1-5, where are you with:
- Adequate sleep?
- Nourishment? Foods that agree or disagree with you?
- Creativity time?
- Intimacy with partner or self?
- Alone time?
- Fueling the soul time?
- Guidance & connection: counsel, coaching, sisterhood etc.?
- Movement and tuning in to body?
- Spirituality practices?
- Nature time?
Grinding could be a sign of poor leadership
Women, it’s time to release the over-rated and outdated, martyr mindset. Yes, it’s outdated. The days of bragging about being a workaholic sends messages of imbalance, poor self-leadership and inability to manage one’s time. Healthline’s article on work addiction, sheds light on the triggers and pitfalls of this behavior.
If I’m out of balance with poor sleep, it can affect my thinking where I may start to criticize my work. I may have a thought that something might be wrong with me because I can’t seem to get it all done. That’s a sure sign for me that I’m in grind mode and that I need a break.
Awareness of the vicious cycle of depletion and criticism is key and then take the appropriate next right action. Start noticing the signs.
What’s your cycle like?
Who’s going to stop that cycle? It’s up to us to observe and change the narrative. It’s up to each one of us to take time to tune in and take care of our mental, physical and spiritual health!
Are you nodding your head? What’s resonating with you?
A new way of thinking about goals and mistakes
In case your go-to is to beat yourself up for not doing things “right” the first time, I’d like to invite you to embrace the words of my mentor, Patricia Moreno, “No mistakes have been made and no mistakes can be made.” Richard Bach, the author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull, elaborates on this ideal in the quote below.
What if this were the mantra you live by? If it is already, hooray for you!
What if there are no mistakes and nothing needs to be fixed? When you plan for what you want to create in 2022, try asking yourself, “if I had the thing that I think I need to be complete, what would I create then?”
You’ll be amazed what happens when you create goals from a place of spaciousness and completeness instead of lack, worry and the dreaded ego that cares what others think.
So, will you declare less “grinding it out” in 2022? What will you create instead? I’d love to hear about it. Email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org and share your vision with me and how it makes you feel when you think of it.
I’m wishing you love and abundant health for 2022. May it be happier and more fulfilled than ever!
Happy New Year!