I’ve been speaking to the grown ass women on a mission in my life and I hear that this holiday season is going to be different for so many of them. Is that true for you too?
On my quest for full expression this year, I decided again, for the 3rd Gratitude Day holiday, that turkey doesn’t make me or my family happy – ever! So, why cook it? For the record, I did finally figure out how to make the juiciest and most flavorful turkey ever. So don’t think I quit because I don’t have any bird skills. (For inquiring minds…I brine and use a bag.)
Okay, back to my story.. it feels so good to be free of that tradition that I really can’t explain why it took me so long to abandon. It doesn’t matter anymore – I’m free!
I’m truly resolved this year and feel quite liberated to announce it to you and anyone who’ll listen. “I’m done doing things that don’t light me up or make me feel amazing!” Yeah!
You know what else I’m done with? The freaking scale! I mean it! No, really!
This year, after scrolling through more IG and FB pages than I care to admit, I started to judge myself and felt like I totally wasted my time during the pandemic on all the wrong things.
I questioned whether all that yummy time that I spent strengthening my marriage, completing all those puzzles and baking with the girls, were really worth it. I totally got caught up in the downward spiral of “comparison-itis.” You know, when everyone else seems to be thriving and you start shoulding on yourself?
It’s not very empowering. It’s quite the opposite.
It didn’t help that I had gained the dreaded “Covid 15” putting me just 12 pounds away from my highest weight of all time! Yikes. And there’s more. I decided to scale down my client load which means I generated less money this year. That didn’t help when I saw a recent blog on coaches who quadrupled their income during the pandemic! WTF was I doing?
I forgot that I consciously made the decision to devote extra time with my loved ones who are struggling with severe mental health and mobility issues. And yes, I may have given into some emotional eating as a coping strategy during all the stress. But, my inner critic didn’t care about my circumstances, it just wanted to judge and make me feel like I had royally failed this year.
Thankfully, I am an avid Morning Pages writer.
Have you had the cathartic experience of scribbling out your deepest thoughts each morning? Omg! I reserve the right to write all my thoughts and feelings with the graciousness of knowing that what I write in those moments to purge myself, doesn’t mean that it’s in alignment with my true self and true beyond this sacred writing time!
I tell my daughters this constantly: “not everything you think is true.” It’s important to allow myself to feel stuff and then decide if it’s really true. Ahh! Such a great question to ask yourself when you are in a whirlwind of energy zapping thoughts. Are these thoughts really true?
What about the number on the scale? Is that true? I mean, it says “x” and I have been tracking on My Fitness Pal, talking weekly to my coach and measuring everything! F%#@k! I was so frustrated with all the losing then gaining and counting! Why do I keep subjecting myself to the torture of the scale every day? Yes, it became a daily thing – sometimes even twice a day.
Oh, did I tell you that I’ve been studying to become a health coach too? Then you know that my fraud alert was notifying often! I mean, how can I be a health coach and not be crushing it with great results? Crap!
Then, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. It allowed me to create the space for me to choose what I wanted to do next. I’ve been practicing this as an interruption to emotional eating away the uncomfortableness and just being with it long enough to choose something different.
Guess who appeared? My highest self!
Oh yes and her essence permeated into my heart and elevated the conversation.
She reminded me of my humaness and all of the work and changes I’ve been making. She reminded me of James Clear’s Atomic Habits and the requirements of true habit change. Change takes time and it’s not easy.
“Success is the product of daily habits—not once-in-a-lifetime transformations.” James Clear – Author of “Atomic Habits”
Reconnecting to my essence and Grown Ass Goddess helped me take a necessary assessment of what was in my way of feeling successful? What was in the way of seeing all my efforts and accepting what was without judgment?
The answers flooded in. My intuition spoke to me loud and clear:
1. Fill your tank!
2. Get off social media!
3. Ditch the scale and the food tracking!
4. Get some quality sleep!
5. Get a massage and arrive early!
6. Fire your health coach!
7. Ride your damn bike!”
Once I created the space and quieted the chatter, my intuition spoke up and I listened.
Do you get so busy that you’re constantly searching the web for answers first before you check within? Sometimes the answers are obvious but we’re not ready to hear them. So, we keep searching for “the answer” and the elusive “clarity” all the while, sinking further away from our intuition.
I realized that I had been pretending not to notice the signs. My current health coach was not the best fit for me. She was a previous body builder and her strength was helping others prepare for competition; hence, the strictness of her program. I can safely say that I will never be a competitive body builder and that’s a fact that will not be changing!
Now, I needed to deal with the judgment of leaving my coach. She was a good woman and well trained. It wasn’t her fault that I wanted to go “soft.” The critic tried to guilt me into sticking it out so I can be a hardcore success. Whaaat? Oh, shut up! I heard the nonsense clearly that time. It was totally my ego.
I’m done swallowing bitter pills! I deserve to feel good and still transform in a way that feels good. Yes, it is possible when I’m in alignment with my true desires and able to release the judgment.
What about you? What is your inner critic saying about your lack of progress? Are you still allowing it to hold you hostage? It’s just a matter of time before you quit completely. There is another way. Are you ready to cut those ties to forcing yourself to take the bitter pill? Why not get support from someone who connects with your core vision and desires which invigorate you and fire you up?
It’s up to you. Will you keep following the traditions and practices that are meaningless or depleting? Or, will you create a New and Improved Master file on life filled with sweet self-compassion, kindness and outcomes that ignite your soul so you will experience success in tandem with feeling good?
My intention is to remind you of the beautiful gift you have within you called: intuition.
You know what it feels like to tap into it and feel the peace and confidence it creates within you.
Why not intentionally carve out the time and space to be alone with your thoughts and feelings this weekend? Perhaps, have a pen and paper on hand to jot down the answers to these questions:
- How do I want to feel? (list those emotions that resonate and make you happy)
- What’s in the way of me feeling those emotions? (List whatever comes up without judgment or a story – it just is.)
- Make a decision of what you will do to feel one of those emotions that you want to feel – your core desired feelings.
Comment on this blog and share your decision with me. I dare you to do it right now and let me know when you’re planning to make it happen. That alone is an act of accountability and increases the likelihood of you doing it.
P.S. I’m so thankful for you and all your efforts to rise up each day, no matter what, to serve and change the world! Now, go ahead, do something that makes YOU feel good too. I dare you. You deserve it.
What things can you think about and do to elevate your energy signature? Energy is everything and we, as Grown Ass Women, can learn how to self-generate the highest vibe possible so we can enjoy the ride even through all its flips, crashes, wipeouts and wonders!
Feeling like it’s time to start living your best life with more joy and better health? Let’s get clear on your juicy desires and how I can support you to bring them to life! Click here to schedule a free Reinvention Connection Call.